* * * * * * *
12/17/2010
– Missed my period, day of departure for Moran’s house in Ridgecrest, CA for
Christmas vacation.
12/19/2010
– Jon and Christine Rondon arrive at dinnertime from Fairfield, CA.
12/22/2010
– Took first of three pregnancy tests. All three
pregnancy tests resulted positive. Third pregnancy test was positive before my
I could even set it down. I shared the news with Michael.
My
feelings at this point were mixed. For the previous six months all I could
think about was babies. But when I held the test in my hand, it didn’t feel
real. I had high doubts. I had been feeling very low for about a month or two
and I couldn’t comprehend that my life long dream of becoming a mom, were
coming true. Other feelings I felt were unexplainable (other than hormones) – I
was scared out of my mind.
Gotta love Mike's smirk...
It's funny to think that poopy diapers don't even make us flinch anymore,
yet here the pregnancy test was "ewy" and downright scary.
12/24/2010
– Christmas Eve with the Morans. Since arriving in Ridgecrest all I did was
sleep, sleep and more sleep. I had very little appetite, which was a shame
because Florence cooked some incredible meals including pecan covered chicken
filets, a full turkey dinner, and the most missed of them all – pumpkin pie. My
behaviors were becoming suspicious to some. The night of
Christmas Eve we had a long talk, the six of us where we mostly discussed Christmas
memories. Michael gave me a priesthood blessing and as soon as it was over Michael and I looked at each other through wet eyes and
announced to the family of our big news. Everyone offered their
congratulations and hugs.
12/28/2010
– I called Sydney Marble. For each of us, we can be a big boost to the
other. I knew what I
needed to do and I knew how I should feel; I just needed a good push in the right
direction. I told her I was pregnant and could not get excited for some reason. She excitedly
researched the early stages of pregnancy on her computer. She began telling me
about symptoms, what I should and should not be eating, and how big the little
guy was. It was a much-needed talk. I turned over a new leaf that night, and
went from emotionally lost to fearlessly excited.
Santa Monica Pier, the few times I was awake on this trip.
(look how tiny my purse is! I miss those small-purse-days...)
12/31/2010
– Arrived home from CA road trip. The drive was very snowy and difficult for me
to sleep through. We dropped off most of our luggage at home, and left for Bear
Lake. My parents and all my family was staying up there for New Year's in
rented condos.
Before we left, I had to pick up some stuff
at my parent’s house and bumped into Brady, who would not be at the condos that
weekend. I told him the great news and he gave me a big hug with an
even bigger smile. I told him the details, how we think we were
actually eight weeks along because of a light period in November.
Once we got to the condos I immediately shared the happy news with my family. Then I told my current favorite person – Helen (my oldest niece). She was
three and a half at the time. “Helen!” I whispered as I knelt next to her. “I’m gonna have a baby!
Just like Mommy had Nora.” She buried her head in the couch - her usual
response to big news. I got closer, “What do you think?” No response,
just more fidgeting. A few minutes later I asked again. Her response was, “Can
you have a girl baby please?” I told her I would try but I didn’t know what
would happen. After a enjoyable weekend together we came home,
unpacked, and I went back to hibernating.
* * * * * * *
I feel like I am living a whole different life compared to before I was a mom. It's so strange for me to read this journal entry and think it was only a year ago. A lot changed in 12 short months, that's for sure.
Now, I don't want to get any worried phone calls or facebook posts telling me congrats on my pregnancy. 'Cuz I'm not pregnant! This is an old journal entry! No bebe, comprende?
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